


The Fox and The Hound

by ElisabethMonroe



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Johnlock - Freeform, Johnlock Parentlock, M/M, MorMor Parentlock, Parentlock, mormor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-01-06 11:04:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElisabethMonroe/pseuds/ElisabethMonroe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is an unspoken rule about, if it shouldn't happen, it will. Opposites attract. Anything that can go wrong will. </p><p>When Sebastian Moran and Jim Moriarty see that Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are adopting a child at the same time they are, the four vow to give up their stupid games and tendencies. However, this doesn't stop the tension between them both and promise that children are not to get involved with each other. </p><p>This happens anyway, much to the children's doing, and they are inseparable, much to the parents' despise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pencils and Chips Are Both Tradeable

Daycare was something else. Alexander Moriarty-Moran, Alex Moran, as he preferred, was sure he’d hate it. The four year old didn’t like many other kids and would rather stay home and have Sebastian read to him all day. He liked his dad’s voice and he always seemed to know more than anyone else. However, Alex was blown out of the water when he was wrong. Within ten minutes of sitting in the room, the small blond saw Hamish for the first time.

Alex had been by himself, doing maths from one of the older kids’ math books and generally minding his own business. He looked up with a sigh when his pencil broke and a small brunette looked up at him as well. Alex scowled and went back to his paper to solve the problems in his head and before he knew it, the boy was sitting down in front of him, brandishing a new pencil.

“Hi…My name’s Hamish. I brought you a pencil.” He smiled so genuinely that Alex couldn’t help but take the pencil with a small nod.

“I’m Alex,” he said. He still had a bit of Jim’s accent on his tongue, as Jim was usually the one speaking to him, pushing him to learn quicker. Sebastian had stepped in later.

Hamish giggled and nodded. “What’re you doing?” he asked, scooting to sit next to Alex and look at his paper.

“Maths,” Alex said simply. “My papa likes maths and he wants me to too so he started teaching me.”

Hamish nodded. “Right. I could count when I was two and a half,” he boasted proudly.

“Me too!” Alex said excitedly. “I can count up to one hundred now.”

“Well, that’s not hard. Once you know One two three to ten, you’ve just got to learn all next ten titles…” Hamish trailed off, trying to figure out if that was the right thing to call it.

“You mean like twenty, thirty, forty and the like,” Alex said, and it wasn’t a question.  Hamish nodded with a smile and stared at the blond doing the work. They remained like that until one of the adults came in to tell them it was lunchtime.

Alex was a very picky eater, and a very nervous little boy. Usually he ended up eating in the play room by himself while all the other kids ate in the main room before going outside. He also usually had his own meal prepared specially for him. Today was no different and the woman started to help Alex on his way, as if he needed help. “Can Ha-Hay…Mish…come with me?” he asked, looking up at her with bright clear eyes and a wide smile and not many staff members had seen him wear.

They all had their stories about him. The older women who worked during the day were sure his parents were abusive to him. After all, why would such a smart young boy be quiet all the time and shy away from kids his age? (They’d obviously never been shoved down in the dirt by the older kids for being too smart) The teenage boys and girl who came to help in the afternoon absolutely knew that having two fathers was fucking him up. Alex became known to them simply as ‘the faggots’ son’. He didn’t know what that meant and his father had become extremely angry when he asked. Angry enough that Alex didn’t dare tell him where he actually heard the word and said it was on the TV in the adults’ break room.

Alex’s home life was fine. There were a few weird noises at night, but that happened everywhere, right? And his parents always seemed happier afterwards. And, sure, weird stains showed up in the carpet that looked oddly like bloody but his dad was a boxer! It was to be expected. He always come home bruised and bloody. No. Alex quite enjoyed living with his dad and papa and didn’t care what anyone else said.

The woman stared at him for a little bit before nodding. “Of course, dear.” Papa always said Darling. Dear was stupid. “Why don’t you go wait in the play room while he gets his meal and I get yours?” Though she had a lilting bit at the end that suggested this was a question, Alex thought it felt more like a demand and he _hated_ being bossed around. So, as soon as the woman guided Hamish away, Alex sat down right on the ground and crossed his arms, pouting and glaring at the wall. It was a comic sight, truly. When the caretaker showed up again, she simply sighed and held Alex’s tray down to him. “Hamish would like you to show him where the play room is now, Alex,” she said gently.

Hamish nodded beside her with a wide grin. “He can show me from here. Thank you,” he said politely. She gave a worried look at the boys before nodding and going down the hall. Alex waited to make sure she was gone before standing with his tray of chicken nuggets and chips and started down to the playroom. Neither boy noticed the woman stick her head around the corner to watch them safely to the room.

“This is my favorite room in the entire building,” Alex explained, going to the small table and setting up his tray as he always did. Spork on his right, drink above the center of his Styrofoam tray, napkin on the left. “Except for the Cool Down room.”

Hamish nodded and sat in front of him, dropping the napkin in his lap and putting his drink by his left hand. “Why are those your favorites?” he asked, moving around his turkey and gravy before reaching for a green bean instead.

“Well, this one has the most toys and not many people use it because the only time you can be in here is the same time you can be outside.  They all want to be outside. Ugh, aren’t normal people dull?” he asked, rolling his eyes in the same way his papa had done before. Dad hated when he copied Papa. He made the sign of the cross over his food before eating quickly, lest someone come in and take it, as the older kids were prone to doing to him.

Hamish made a face at him. “What did you just do?” he asked, nodding to his tray.

“Oh, that? Dad and I do that. Papa thinks we’re stupid. It’s thanking God for giving you food. Dad and I go to Church on Sunday, even though he used to not. Something happened between him and Papa that made him start again and he takes me. I like it.” Alex smiled happily and offered a chip to Hamish who took it and set it aside for later.

“My papa says religion is only there to get money, but if you like it, that’s nice,” the brunette said, finishing his green beans and starting in on the meat. His roll had also gone off to the side. He made sure none of his food touched even a little bit. “Why do you like the Cool Down room?” He looked up at Alex with piercing blue eyes and a small smile.

“Because it’s quiet. Only one person can be there at a time. There’s bean bag chairs and books and crayons and paper so you can write down what happened. Sometimes I’ll misbehave or say I feel ill just to get put in it. Especially when the other kids are being mean. Miss Tracy lets me stay in there all day sometimes. She likes me.”

Hamish nodded thoughtfully and continued eating. “What about you?” Alex asked. “Do you like it here so far? You must be new.”

The boy looked up, slightly startled out of his own thoughts. “Oh, yeah, it’s okay. I wish I didn’t have to be here, but Papa’s out on case, he’s a detective, and Dad’s always at work. He’s a doctor and he saves people’s lives so I can’t be mad at him.”

Alex beamed. “That’s awesome. You have two daddies just like me. Papa said it wasn’t weird but I’d never met anyone else with two daddies. I have a friend named Ian who’s only got one Mommy though. He doesn’t know who his Daddy is, so I told him he can share my Dad, since Papa doesn’t seem to be the sharing type.”

Hamish smiled and nodded. “That’s nice of you, Alex.” He finished the turkey in silence and started eating his roll before deciding it was far too good to eat second to last. He ate the chip first, making a face at how cold it had gotten and then the roll again.

Alex watched him curiously. “Why’d you do that?” he asked, crinkling his nose. While he was a picky eater, once he found food he liked he ate all of it very quickly.

“I was eating. I like to save what I think’ll be best for last. And my Dad never lets his food touch. It’s un…un-unsan-try…dirty. He was in the army so he knows all of this.” He nodded in affirmation of these truths.

“My dad was in the army too!” Alex said, bouncing slightly in his seat. “He was Colonel! He met my Papa when he got out so I’m happy he got out. I wanna be just like him, though. I wanna go in the army too. But I also wanna be a drawer. I’m really good. Dad says so. He lets me draw on him or colour in his tattoos when he’s not busy. Sometimes he likes them so much he goes to get them put on permanently. He did that with my dragon.” Alex was _extremely_ proud of this and figured he could never do something so amazing again. Sebastian didn’t really get it tattooed, of course. He simply did the hairspray and baby powder trick to keep it there until Alex forgot.

“Neat!” Hamish said, eyes lighting up slightly as he said the word that his papa liked so much. “I like you, Alex,” he said with a nod.

Alex grinned again. “I like you too. You’re my best friend.” Hamish and Alex both neglected to mention that the other was their only friend. All you needed was one and everything could be just fine.


	2. Tensions and Slides Both Have Coils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamish and Alex go to the park after introducing their parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's kind of what I imagined the play ground looks like. http://www.lvpark.org/images/playscape.jpg  
> http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2826/9034057403_37ccf5fbee_o.jpg http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5446/9034050183_687caa5954_o.jpg  
> http://www.miracleparkplace.com/index/gallery/LaVernia1.JPG
> 
> Disclaimer. I do not ship Johnlock. I never have. I've never RPed or written Johnlock, therefore my Sherlock and John throughout the story is going to be mildly bad. If you have tips or think I'm doing something wrong with how I'm portraying them, tell me in the doobly-do (Comments) and I'll try to fix it if I think it's a big deal. This also applies to major head canons. I think I know them all simply from my Tumblr dash but you can never be too sure. Please don't just tell me to stick your head canons in. Make sure it's something that everyone likes...

It took two days for Alex to become comfortable enough with Hamish to be seen with him outside. But, like with his food, once Alex found something he liked, he took no slow roads. When they said that Sebastian was there for Alex, the four year old ran outside, all the way to his waiting daddy. "Daddy, daddy, look! I made a friend!" he said excitedly, eyes wide and glowing. "Can we go to the park if his Daddy says it's okay when he gets here?"

Sebastian looked down at Alex and his friend and grinned softly. “Sure thing, kiddo,” he said with a nod. “Who’s your little friend?”

 “It’s…Ha-Hay-mash,” Alex said, making a face at the incorrect pronunciation. Both boys missed Sebastian’s shocked expression.

 “It’s Ha _mish_ , Alex. Mish, Mish, Mish. Like Mish Mosh,” Hamish said in a way that was eerily similar to some know it all girl from the movie his parents had been watching the night before.

 “Yeah, Hamish. Canwecanwecanewepleasepleasepleaseplease?” Alex asked, holding onto Sebastian’s hand and bouncing up and down.

 Despite his better judgment, Sebastian sighed and nodded. “Only if his dad says it’s okay though,” he said strictly, squatting down to be on their level. Hamish ducked behind Alex’s back, holding onto his shirt shyly. “Hamish, when should you father be here?”

 Hamish pulled up his arm and moved the sleeve of his jacket. He couldn’t actually tell time but he knew what the arrows looked like when his papa would arrive. “He should be here,” he said, frowning slightly.

 As if on cue, Sherlock strode from a cab straight into the day care center, all elegance and sharp lines. He came stalking back out when he was told where his son was with much less grace and more lethality. “Moran,” he greeted coldly. “I hope you weren’t about to do something incredibly _stupid_.”

 “I wasn’t doing anything stupid, Holmes,” Sebastian said coolly. He reached down and pulled Alex into his arms as Sherlock did the same to Hamish. Alex immediately registered a threat and tucked his head into Sebastian’s neck, clutching at his t-shirt. “Our children have become friends and wanted to go to the park. Hamish was waiting for you.”

 “Hamish goes nowhere with you or your son without me there,” Sherlock ground out. Hamish didn’t understand. He just wanted to be with his friend again.

 Alex began to squirm in Sebastian’s grip, apparently feeling the same way and reached out for Hamish. Sebastian pulled his arms in closer again. “They’re just kids, Sherlock. Even you said what happened between us shouldn’t come between them. I don’t know about Hamish but Alex has a hard time making friends. I’m not going to take the one he’s made from him.”

 Sherlock was quiet for a moment before he nodded. “Fine. To the park with all four of us.” Hamish’s lower lip trembled as his fingers brushed Alex’s but couldn’t hold on and both parents quickly set their children down. The boys ran to each other and hugged for a long moment before Alex took Hamish’s hand and began to walk with him.

 Sebastian reached for Alex’s other hand and Sherlock for Hamish’s and just like that, they were off.

  **~ ~ ~**  


Once at the park, the boys were unstoppable. Alex had talked about it the entire walk over and Hamish was too excited to listen to a safety lecture from the man who played with knives when he was thinking. Still hand in hand, the boys dashed off to the central area playground.

 Alex, rebellious as he was, still knew better than to go on the older kids’ play set and, instead, pulled Hamish along to the littler slides and monkey bars.

 “Have you ever been to a playground before, Mash?” Alex asked, looking around, debating where to start.

 Hamish rolled his eyes at the question and the name and ran up a slide to the very top without slipping. “I don’t know, _Alec_ , you tell me,” he hummed down, purposely messing up the name.

 Alex laughed and ran up after him, having to use his hands and feet towards the top. Simultaneously two deep voices rang out for them to follow the rules about slides. Alex stuck his tongue out childishly and plonked himself down on the blue walk way, laying back and enjoying the sun on his face. Until it was being blocked.

 “Heeeeeeeey,” Hamish whined, poking at Alex’s stomach. “You said you’d play! Not be lazy!” His lower lip jutted out in a pout and Alex felt instantly guilty.

 “Okay, okay,” the blond said quickly, sitting up. “What do you want to do?”

 Hamish’s eyes lit up. “Let’s go down the big slide!” he said excitedly, clapping his pudgy hands together.

 Alex’s eyes narrowed. “But we’re not allowed on the big kids’ playground!” he said in a slight whisper, lest his dad over hear.

The brunette raised an eyebrow. Kind of. He tried. “Are you _scared_?” he asked, barely able to keep the grin off of his face.

 Alex looked offended. “No!” he squawked out. “I just don’t want to get in trouble and not be able to come here anymore. Please don’t make me get in trouble.” His eyes were wide and wet and Hamish almost stopped.

 “Just once, Alex,” he pleaded. “Let’s just go down it once. Our dads won’t even notice and if they do, you can blame me.”

 Alex chewed on his lip before he nodded. “One time, Haymash. Let’s go down the back so they don’t see.” He stood up and grabbed Hamish’s hand, pulling him across the narrow walk way and down the back steps. The ground was made of painful wood chips that were supposed to make falling feel better, even though they didn’t. Alex had fallen plenty of times. Shoved down even more. The wood bits bit into your skin and stuck there. He had more than enough cuts and pokes from them. The worst bit was that they made noise if you walked on them too quickly or too slowly. He took a deep breath and pulled Hamish to the big kids’ side before stopping and looking around. There were no little steps he could take to get up quickly until they got to the other side. He took a deep breath again, regretting this more and more, though he did feel like that blond man in the nice clothes that had been on the telly a few nights ago. He pulled Hamish all the way over, dodging between bits and pieces of other obstacles before reaching the stairs. The little boy squatted down and waddled up them like a duck to avoid being seen and then scampered the stairs before the big slide. There were eight very large steps ahead of them that would make them the highest, most obvious targets on the playground.

 Hamish had no qualms about this and quickly ran up the stairs. Alex had issues around stair five when he looked down and his entire world began to spin. He fell backwards slightly, white knuckles slipping from their grip on the stairs. This was it. He was going to die at four years old when his greatest adventure was sneaking onto the older kids’ playground. Okay, that was a pretty cool adventure, especially when he’d beaten two daddies watching him. Still! He wanted to be in the military and be a spy! And he wanted to talk to Hamish some more.

 A hand was fisted in his shirt suddenly, pulling him back to steady. “Alex, are you okay?” a familiar voice asked, cutting through the fog of his mind. It rang in his ears for a few moments and Alex opened his eyes from where he’d squeezed them shut. Hamish was holding onto him, looking concerned. He was still on the fifth step.

 The scared boy nodded and slowly made his way up the steps, hiding in the little green alcove with Hamish, each on one side. There were strange things written and drawn on the walls. Lots of names with hearts. Odd rectangles and ovals and circles and half circles too. Alex quickly memorized these to draw later and ask his dads what it meant.

 “Are you ready?” Hamish asked with a grin. “I thought I’d go first since you were scared, that way I’ll make sure there’s nothing to get hurt on and you can hold onto my jacket, okay?”

 Alex nodded, just wanting to get it done and over with. Their little haven was nice, but Alex wasn’t sure when that odd dizzy feeling was going to overcome him again. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to be saved next time.

 Hamish was oblivious to his friend’s distress and scooted to the edge of the tiny room. His feet were braced against the edge of the slide to keep him from moving and he looked back at Alex. “Okay, sit over closer to me and grab my jacket,” he commanded. Alex didn’t mind being bossed around now, because it got him what he wanted. He sat cross legged behind Hamish and held tightly to his jacket. Hamish grinned and pulled himself into the spin and they were falling.

 After Alex was certain his stomach was in his throat, he lost his grip on Hamish’s jacket. The boy didn’t notice and flew down the slide, around the next turn and out of sight. Alex started panicking immediately and tried to pull his feet out from crosslegged and ended up tumbling down the slide, falling over the side closer to the bottom and landing on his face in the wood chips, sliding to a stop. There was a stunned silence for half a moment before Alex began to wail quite loudly.

 Sebastian and Sherlock had heard Alex’s scream, not that the younger blond would remember that, and had already been running over so they were already upon him when the crying started. Hamish had tears of his own running down his face. Fear for his friend’s well-being and fear for himself getting in trouble and not being able to play or see Alex anymore.

 Sebastian was on his knees with Alex across his thighs, brushing away the chips from his face, particularly his mouth and eyes. He forced his son’s mouth open to look for any that may have fallen inside before smoothing Alex’s hair back. “Alex, darling, you have to open your eyes for me. Let me see how handsome you are,” Sebastian said gently, still petting his hair. _Dear God_ , he prayed, _please don’t let him have hurt himself. Please don’t let him be blind_.

 Alex coughed and sputtered, choking on his own saliva and tears and opened his eyes. They were red from crying but didn’t seem to be bleeding. “Daddy, am I going to die?” he asked, still crying. Tears were soaking Sebastian’s arm under Alex’s head.

 “No, soldier, you aren’t going to die,” Sebastian laughed in a choked kind of way. “Can you see me? Close one eye and then the other. Can you see me the entire time?” Alex did as he was told and nodded.

 Hamish inched closer, chewing on his jacket sleeve. When Sebastian set Alex down on his own bum, Hamish rushed forward and threw his arms around his friend’s neck. “I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry,” he cried, pressing his face to Alex’s shoulder. “Please don’t be mad at me. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to. I’ll never make you do anything ever again. I’m sorry.”

 Sebastian couldn’t help the surge of anger at Hamish for hurting his little boy, but this tender show of affection was calming him down, especially seeing how Alex rubbed Hamish’s back.

 “It’s okay, Haymash,” he promised. “I’m okay. I’m never doing any of that ever again but I’m okay.” They stayed locked like that for quite a while since neither parent wanted to disrupt such a scene.

 When the boys finally did part, Sherlock grabbed Hamish’s wrist tightly and smacked his hand. “Hamish that was wrong,” he said sternly. “Alex could have really gotten hurt. Do you want your friend getting hurt?” Hamish shook his head roughly. Sebastian attempted to quiet a snort. He would know about hurting friends, wouldn’t he? Hypocrite. “I’m telling you dad when we get home and we’ll deal with it there. Say goodbye to Alexander now.”

Alex was still sniffling but he stood up, rubbing at his eyes. “Please don’t make him leave me alone, sir,” the tiny blond said, looking up at Sherlock with wide eyes. “He’s my best friend in the whole world. I don’t want to never see him again.”

 Sherlock sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I never said anything of the sort, Alexander. He’ll have his own punishment.”

 Hamish sniffled and walked over, hugging Alex tightly. Alex hugged him back and they bumped noses as they’d taken to doing to say goodbye. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Alex,” he said quietly.

 Alex nodded, going to hug Sebastian’s leg. “Bye, Hay…mish…”


	3. Soldiers and Spies and Little Girls and Fries

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday passed. Alex and Hamish never saw each other once. Much to the little ones’ ignorance, Sherlock, Jim, And Sebastian had all gone in to speak to the owners of the day care. Needless to say it was unanimously decided that the boys were not to ever interact with each other.

 Neither boy liked this.

 Alex learned to hate the cool down and play room because, if he was there, Hamish wasn’t. And if Hamish was there, Alex wasn’t. Hamish didn’t like being outside but that’s where he was kept most of the time. And it was worse because now all the other kids had another reason to hate him. So, the small brunet decided to take things into his own, chubby hands. That’s what Alex would do.

 One day, inspired by his friend’s stories of spies and soldiers, Hamish concluded that this was the day to do it. He picked at his fish and chips, glancing around the room. He knew that Macy was about two seconds away from a meltdown and that would divert the attention long enough for him to get to the cool down room where Alex was being held for lunch. He took a deep breath and looked at the adult in the room. She wasn’t looking. Quick now. He grabbed a fry and threw it at Macy before ducking under his arm to pretend to read the book he’d had opened in front of him.

 Macy played here part perfectly and started to kick and scream and cry. All the adults ran over to her at once and Hamish scuttled out of the way, not noticed by the rushing adults behind him. The small boy ran off to the hallway, looking for people. He slightly panicked when he actually did see a caretaker coming. He quickly sat against the wall and pretended to watch the scene with a frightened expression.

 The older woman stopped when she saw Hamish. He recognized her as the one who’d gotten Alex’s food when they met. She must have been with him just now too. “Oh, Hamish, there’s nothing to be worried about,” she soothed gently, squatting down to rub at Hamish’s shoulder. “Macy just isn’t feeling well. She won’t hurt you or anything like that.” The woman had a vague idea of where Hamish was going but couldn’t be arsed to stop him, quite frankly. Those boys were good for each other. She hadn’t seen Alex open up so easily in all the time he’d been going here. And he’d shut off so completely after they weren’t together. Like someone had flipped a switch. Besides, she was damned if she left Alex alone and she was damned if she didn’t go to this girl. Might as well be the one that would make a difference for the better. She stood up and quickly went to the loud sounds of the racket beside them.

Hamish ran the rest of the way to his friend. At first he banged on the door then tried to see in the windows. He was too short to see in and no one was answering the banging, which was all the same to him. He knew how to open doors. Oh, no. The real task came in being able to reach the door handle. No matter how much he jumped and tried, he just couldn’t seem to grab that elusive piece of metal.

He finally stopped and faced the door. “Lexi, it’s me,” he said, playing with the edge of his red t-shirt. “It’s Hamish. And I’d und…und…know if you don’t wanna be friends anymore but if you do could you get the door for me?” he asked smally, eyes never leaving the ground.

 Silence.

 Hamish turned to leave before the door was slowly opened. “Hay…mish?” Alex asked, sticking his head out the door and looking at him. “My Daddy says we shouldn’t be talking anymore,” he said gently. “I don’t wanna stop talking but Daddy says. And even the Day-Care’s tryin’ to make us be apart.”

 Hamish looked down and sniffled. “Right. I know,” he said softly, playing more furiously with the hem of his shirt. “But…you’re my only friend.”

 And that was that. Alex was across the hall, hugging Hamish tightly. “No, I’m just your best friend. You’ve got plenty of friends,” he reprimanded sternly. The little blonde hated it when Hamish said he didn’t have friends. Alex just wanted him to stop talking at that point because he found that if Hamish was hurting, so was he. And not like a skinned knee hurt. Like a deep in his chest hurt. Like when he forgot to eat or Daddy put up the food before he could say something. Except that was in his stomach and this was in his chest, but it was the same thing. He leaned back and kissed Hamish’s forehead the same way he’d seen Daddy kiss Papa’s forehead when Papa was upset.

 Hamish hugged back and buried his face in his friend’s scrawny neck. “Okay, Alex,” he said with a nod. “If you say so, it must be true.” He smiled softly at the thought and pulled away. “Best friends forever?” he asked, holding out his hand.

 Alex laughed and nodded, shaking his head. “Best friends forever. No Daddies, schools, or anything can keep us apart,” Alex said with a triumphant smile. Hamish was his and his alone now. No one could take his spot. He was like Lancelot and Hamish was King Arthur. Just, he didn’t want his dad to say his name the same way he spat out Lancelot. Alex still didn’t know quite what Lancelot did to anger Daddy so much, but Alex was never going to do it.

 Both boys grinned and hugged again. They were found by two caretakers pulling Macy to the cool down room and the three other adults following behind. Nobody said a word but a few ‘I told you so’s and ‘You owe me’s were passed around.

 Alex and Hamish ignored all of them.


	4. Snacks and Dances Are the Bane of Existence

And so was the boys’ lives through daycare. Nobody tried to separate them again. Even the fathers couldn’t fight them. Once school started, they really started to feel the pressures of separation. They were split into different pods which were the stupidest things to Alex. Essentially what it did was take the rather large school and divide five of the year one teachers into one ‘pod’ and five into the other. Lunches for Pod One were earlier in the day while Pod Two had recess then Pod One went to recess while Pod Two ate. Alex was Pod Two and Hamish was Pod One. They saw each other for the briefest moment when they both went to the bathroom at the end of the lunch/recess period and would sit in the corner and talk until Alex’s teacher got them. Then they’d be taken off and kept apart again until the end of the day where they’d run to the pick-up line, hug, and wait for Sebastian and Sherlock to get them.

 After a month of not seeing Hamish constantly, Alex took it into his own hands. He came home from school one day, looking absolutely haggard. His blond hair hung in his face and he didn’t stand up straight. His eyes stayed glued on the floor and he collapsed on the couch as soon as he got home. Funny, because he looked fine walking out of the school.

 “Hey, buddy, what’s wrong with your back?” Sebastian asked, glancing at him and sucking on his thumb to get the peanut butter off while he made Alex a sandwich.

 “I don’t know, Daddy,” Alex whined. He’d been trying to stop using the word, but he knew that Sebastian would understand that this was serious. “My tummy hurts and it makes the lower half of my back hurt and that makes it hard to stand up.”

 Sebastian glanced at him, concern tinging is bottle green eyes. “Why does your stomach hurt, little one?” he asked, moving into the living room with two sandwiches. He sat on the table in front of Hamish and handed him one of the PB+J’s.

 “I don’t know. I’m so hungry. We have to wait so long at school to eat and I have gym right before lunch so I’m super hungry when we have to run and do pushups and do that silly dance.” The six year old pouted before tearing into his sandwich, which was great for his act.

 “Is it really that bad?” Sebastian asked. Alex had complained about his lunch before, but usually it was just that Hamish wasn’t in it, which the sniper was suspicious that this boiled down to. But, at the same time, he was worried that Alex really couldn’t go so long without lunch. “Do you want to switch lunch or do you want me to start giving you a snack and talking to your teachers to let you eat?” he asked, knowing that Alex loved the little bars or gummies they got for snacks.

 Well, that was hardly fair. “Daaaaaddddddy!” Alex whined, tears brimming at his eyes. He clutched a pillow to his stomach and rolled over. “I don’t care,” he pouted, voice watery.

 Sebastian sighed and rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose and throwing a prayer up for patience. “Alexander, I asked you a question and I’d like an answer. Do we need to go get more snacks or do I need to talk to your school tomorrow? I can take you to the store right now and you can pick them out.”

 Alex _hated_ that voice. Sebastian only used that voice when he was really being tried and Alex didn’t like that he was causing it. “I want the earlier lunch,” he answered quietly.

 “Sorry, what was that?” Sebastian asked, barely containing his smile.

 “I said I wanted to have the earlier lunch,” Alex snapped, rolling over again. His lower lip was fully jutted out into a pout now and a track made by tears showed where the little drops of emotion trailed from his eyes and down his temples. He was nothing if not dedicated to his roll, Sebastian would give him that.

 “I’ll talk to your school then, little one,” Sebastian said softly, petting Alex’s hair. “Now, what homework do you have?”

 And just like that, Sebastian and Hamish were put in the same pod. Not the same class, but Alex could deal with this.

 Junior School was uneventful though it quickly became apparent that both little boys were brilliant. The only difference was that Hamish always did well and Alex couldn’t care less. The blond only did his work when it benefitted him. Or when Hamish asked him to.

 In years five and six, they decided that their work ethic was directly related to the fact that Hamish was a Gryffindor and Alex was a Slytherin. Oh, yes, they’d found Harry Potter. It followed their Star Wars phase and going from Jedi to Wizard was a good transition. And, speaking of religion, Alex was still very Christian, though he didn’t quite understand why they said some things that they did, but Sebastian said that that was okay and he was still a good person. Hamish didn’t mind listening to Alex talk about what he’d heard at Mass and catalogued it against other religious beliefs he heard in one of his dozens of binders full of all kinds of things.

 At the end of year six, there was a dance to say goodbye to the students as they went on to secondary school. It was mostly for the students who’d be going to different types of schools from their friends but Hamish and Alex had both made it into the specialized school for smart kids. And that was without Sebastian and Jim threatening the school. Alex did that all on his own.

 Still, both boys planned on going together and both were freaking out about what to wear.

 “Dad!” Alex yelled, pacing his room nervously. “Dad, I don’t know what to wear. I don’t have any good clothes! I swear I’ve bought them!” he moaned.

 Sebastian was downstairs reading and had been listening to his twelve year old for going on thirty minutes. He sighed and went to his son, standing in his room. It was even more spotless than Sebastian’s bunk had been in the military. He let out an impressed whistle. “Okay, let’s look at this,” he hummed, stepping into the closet. He turned and grinned at Alex. “Hey, I haven’t been this far back in the closet since I was your age!” His grin widened and Alex looked horrified.

 “Dad! I’m being serious!”

  _Hamish was near tears. It wasn’t often he couldn’t comprehend things and fix problems on his own, but this was one of those rare moments. “Dad!” he called out, throwing himself dramatically across the bed so hard that his curls were still bouncing and swaying by the time John got upstairs._

_John sighed, being instantly transported back to his own teenage years and how many tantrums had been thrown over what to wear to impress the newest girl. “It’s okay, Hamish,” he cooed, rubbing Hamish’s back gently. “It’s a school dance, right?” Hamish nodded, slowly removing his head from his pillow._

“What about this?” Sebastian asked, throwing a brown turtle neck at Alex who’d gone pouting off to the gaming chair that was used more often for reading than anything else.

 Alex scowled at the fabric and threw it in the pin. “I’m not some multi-billion dollar dead technology tycoon,” he muttered. He rested his chin on his knees and wrapped his arms around his shins, lower lip jutting out in a pout.

 Sebastian sighed and pulled out a red satin shirt. “Okay, this. With some black slacks and black shoes, slicked back hair, you’ll be the hottest thing on the dance floor.” He winked at the boy who blushed and hid his face against his knees. Slowly, he got up and changed into what his father had picked out.

  _“This is nice,” John mused, holding up a red button down shirt for Hamish’s inspection. The brunet deliberated before nodding._

_“That’ll look good. And Alex usually wears black so it’ll match when we’re standing around together,” he pointed out logically._

_“Good. And you can wear some dark jeans, these ones, and it’ll look great. And your Converse shoes would look great too, especially if you had a loose tie around your neck.”_

_Hamish listened with rapt attention and grinned. “You’re really good at this, Dad,” he giggled, standing up to strip and pull the new outfit on. “Do you dress Papa too?”_

_John laughed and shook his head. “Not usually. I have to leave right as he’s going to bed. There’s no time and I won’t be late for him.”_

~ ~ ~

Alex and Hamish arrived at the school at the exact same time on opposite sides of the gym where the dance was being held. They were alone during the dance for five minutes. Alex looked just as sleek and cool as Sebastian had imagined with aviators hanging from his shirt collar. Hamish was the most dashing rogue that John had ever seen, and that included his personal images from childhood.

 When they saw each other, they nearly died of laughter and embarrassment. “You’re dressed like me!” Alex cried, pointing at his best friend.

 “And you look like a me who woke up on time,” Hamish shot back, laughing. They hugged quickly before trying to figure out what to do. This required cookies and a coke from the back table that some club was sponsoring to raise money.

 “Okay, okay, what if you just went in the white shirt?” Alex asked, gesturing to the white undershirt that showed through Hamish’s undone top buttons. They were near one of the brighter sources of light in the dimly lit room, towards a door where the cool night wind calmed them down.

 “That’s hardly fair. Then I don’t look sharp like you,” Hamish objected, narrowing his eyes at his best friend’s linear attire. It was sharp and precise and so very Alex that Hamish was almost willing to go change.

 “Well, _I’m_ not changing,” Alex declared, shaking his head while staring at the ceiling. One hand had gone to his chest and made him look much more regal than a school dance should look.

 Hamish rolled his eyes. “And I’m not either. We can just be dressed the same. No one’s gonna look at us anyway,” he pointed out. No one ever looked at them.

 Alex looked at his friend before shrugging. “Fine,” he conceded. He tugged Hamish away from the door and to one of the tables where all the girls had left their bags. “This is boring anyway.”

“It’s not so bad,” Hamish argued, glancing around and smiling at Macy as she danced with Ian and scolded him for stepping on her feet. “Can you dance?” he asked, turning to his friend.

 Alex shrugged. “Meh. I’m alright. I’ve seen Father and Dad do it loads of times and Dad’ll let me stand on his feet in between them sometimes.” Neither one of them was quite sure when Jim had become Father instead of Papa but they didn’t change it. Alex thought it sounded more regal. Hamish thought it sounded callous.

 The barely younger stood and offered his hand to Alex. “Come on then. Let’s go dance,” he commanded, shaking his hand in the air slightly until Alex took his hand.

 He pulled the blond up gracefully, though Alex was already several inches taller. Hamish threaded their fingers together and moved Alex’s other hand to shoulder before moving his own to Alex’s waist. He counted the beat out loud before stepping.

 Alex was surprisingly good at it. His only issue was that his hips didn’t snap quickly enough for Hamish, but that could be dealt with later. After all, this wasn’t competition, this was a school dance. Alex was a natural born leader and easily took over the masculine role, twisting and turning them. They were laughing and having so much fun they didn’t notice some of the student body stopping to watch them and they didn’t realize they’d gotten to the center of the gym. The third song ended before Hamish leaned up to kiss Alex’s cheek lightly.

 There were rumblings around the student population, some ‘told you’s and ‘fags’s were passed around but slowly everyone started clapping and Ian’s unmistakable laugh cut through everyone else’s. “That was insane, man!” he greeted as Alex and Hamish quickly ducked out of the way, completely red in embarrassment.

 “Whatever, Adler. What do you know, Mr. Toes?” Alex teased back, still feeling the tingling in his cheeks from the kiss and the blush.

 Ian laughed and rolled his eyes before Macy pulled him away because this was, like, her favorite song. Well, not her favorite but, you know, up there, and they absolutely must dance to it.

 A moment passed between the two friends before Alex leaned forward and kissed Hamish’s cheek too.


	5. Fights and Revelations Are An Unbecoming

Alex was growing up faster than Hamish and the brunet resented this. It seemed that the shorter boy was doomed to look childish for the rest of his life. It was their second year of secondary school and both boys were fourteen now. While Hamish still seemed to have his baby fat, Alex was long and lean. It was obvious he worked out with his father from the slight definition in his arms and chest, from what Hamish had seen while the other quickly changed shirts after athletics. Not that, you know, Hamish was watching. Not only that, but Alex was growing facial hair! It wasn’t allowed in school, but Alex’s hair was so light and his skin so tan that hardly anyone noticed. He kept it cut close and framing his jaw and he looked like a fecking model.

On the flip side, Alex felt like he couldn’t catch up to Hamish. Anything the blond did, the brunet was suddenly two years ahead. Forced himself through a classic novel? Hamish has read four already this year alone. Take an advanced maths course? Hamish had two. Score perfectly on a science test? Hamish got extra credit. How the hell did he even do that? Alex didn’t remember hearing about any fecking extra credit. It was infuriating!

That’s what each was thinking as Hamish sat on Alex’s bed, reading, and Alex did pull ups on the bar across his door. “Why the hell do you need to read anymore, Mish?” he asked with a little bit of spite behind his voice. “You’re caught up with school for two weeks!”

Hamish looked up suddenly, a little startled. “Why do you need to keep working out when you’re already in the advanced athletics class?” he shot back.

“Because I need to be good enough to stay in that class,” Alex easily countered.

“Well, I need to stay ahead in the classes too.”

“The teachers aren’t even giving you work anymore! All you do is there and point out everything I’m doing wrong.”

“Well, maybe if you made less mistakes, I wouldn’t do that so much.”

Alex fell off the bar, glaring at his friend. “What the hell, Hamish? I do as much and as well as I can. It’s not my fault that you fecking memorize everything you fecking read.”

“Why don’t you put on a fecking shirt,” Hamish growled, throwing a t-shirt at the blond. “Maybe if you spent more time studying than doing…that, you’d do better on your assignments.”

“Oh, is that what this is about? Because I’m stronger than you? Real mature, asshole.”

“Oi, watch your mouth. I’ll tell your dad,” Hamish threatened emptily.

“Yeah, my father who puts sailors to shame is going to yell at me about my language.” Alex rolled his eyes, pulling on the shirt anyway. “Maybe it’s time for you to go home. You’re obviously tired and we’re tired of each other.” He took a deep breath, trying not to let it show how hurt he was. Sebastian had said it was bound to happen. It always did in secondary school. You grew apart as you realized who you were.

A similar look of hurt passed over Hamish’s face and he shook his head. “Whatever, loser,” he muttered, grabbing his back pack and standing up. “Don’t bother coming with us. I’ll just have Sebastian drive me home.” He swallowed hard and shoved by Alex whose fists were clenched at his sides. Even now, Hamish couldn’t help but admire how really great his arms were. “I’ll see you around?”

Alex turned that icy gaze on Hamish who had never been under the full weight of it before. “We’re moving. That’s why I invited you over. I wanted to tell you but you started studying.”

Hamish actually felt his heart stop and he stared at Alex with wide eyes. “No! You can’t! You’re my best friend!”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Alex spat bitterly. 

“I didn’t mean any of that.” Okay, yeah, he had, but he just wanted to seem like he was better at something than Alex. “At least tell me where you’re going,” he finally said, hanging his head in shame.

“Germany. Then India. Then Ireland. A few months in each place. Settling down in Ireland.” Actually, he knew they were supposed to be coming back after Ireland but Hamish didn’t deserve to have any sort of hope. “So, no, you won’t be seeing me around.”

Hamish’s lower lip jutted out and his chin quivered. Those gorgeous blue eyes filled with tears and Alex felt instantly ashamed, his own aching heart shattering in his chest. It was only a moment’s hesitation before he wrapped his arms around Hamish’s neck, pulling him into a tight hug. He let out a breath that he was apparently holding as he felt Hamish hug his waist.

“You can’t leave,” the brunet whispered, shaking his head. “I won’t have any friends.”

“You’ll make new friends. You could be popular. You can talk with those kids who sit down the table from us at lunch and sometimes butt into our conversation.”

“They do that because of you,” Hamish pointed out.

Alex furrowed his brow before shaking his head. “No way. They do that because of you.”

Hamish gulped in a long breath. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“I can’t stop it.”

“Well, I can’t stop this.” He took another breath. “Can I stay for a little bit longer? I’ll put away my books. I just don’t want to waste any time with you.”

Alex nodded without a second thought to it. “Of course you can.”

They ended up crying and play video games and eating dinner and falling asleep tangled around each other, hands clasped tightly between their bodies to avoid possibly losing each other too soon. Neither would admit it, but the I love yous were a little more sincere and a little less platonic tonight.


	6. Reunions and Relationships and Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More pictures for you!  
> Alex HC: https://24.media.tumblr.com/457bf00fdb8391c967a4cefbb207e06b/tumblr_mzdc6aHlE61t3aq8ko1_500.jpg  
> Hamish HC: http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01583/tom-hughes_1583690i.jpg  
> Ian HC: http://www2.pictures.gi.stylebistro.com/Gaspard+Ulliel+Short+Hairstyles+Layered+Razor+01cBQPSDENil.jpg  
> And have a sexy gif of Tom Hughes that makes me want to say he's Alex not Hamish: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcrow6ivxH1rshp94o1_r4_500.gif

Alex was seventeen by the time he was back in London and much bigger. His flirty smile, tight ACDC shirt and ripped jeans that barely clung to his prominent hips, along with heavy combat boots and spiky hair, made him the center of attention from the moment he stepped on campus. It seemed that no one recognized him. Girls flocked to his locker, offered to walk him to his next class, touched his arm, his chest, his hair, anything really. It wasn’t until lunch rolled around and someone jumped onto his back and ruffled his hair, that Alex really felt back. 

“You fucking fag,” a familiar voice laughed, arms around Alex’s neck in a tight, warm embrace. “You didn’t even fucking say you were leaving, asshole.”

Alex laughed and turned around, wrapping Ian in a hug. “Hey, loser,” he laughed, letting the other go after a while. “I’m sorry. It was so fucking fast. My parents just decided to pack up and leave. It literally took, like three days to leave. I wasn’t at school.”

“I know you weren’t, loser,” Ian chuckled, hitting his friend’s chest. “You’re a little late though,” he added after a brief pause.

Alex looked at him with a knitted brow. “What do you mean?” he asked, shutting his locker and shifting his books in his arm. 

“Hamish’s already got a boyfriend,” Ian said simply and Alex felt his entire world skid to a stop.

“That’s not why I came back,” the blond said slowly, trying to calm down his racing heart. Of course it wasn’t. 

“You could have gone to any school you wanted to. Your parents would have wanted you in the best, most expensive one and you came back to where you were accepted in eighth grade a lifetime ago,” Ian scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, why don’t you shut your whore mouth and hug me again?” Alex demanded, pulling Ian back to his chest and smiling when he felt his friend reciprocate.

“Come on, I’ll take you out to eat, I’ve found the best restaurant. Literally, the make the most amazing things that I’ve ever put into my mouth and I’ve put a lot of things into my mouth.” Ian smirked and knocked his shoulder into Alex’s.

Alex pretended to gag and followed the dark haired boy out of the school. Ian was taller and smoother. He’d ditched his scrawny body for a long, lean runner’s body. His sharp elbows and knocky knees were no more and he was a fluid, graceful man. Alex was vaguely jealous. His intense training with his father, while very graceful in its own way, had left him a bit of a brute of a man. Ian looked like the kind of man who would trick you into going home with him, give you the best night of your life, smirk at you in the morning and disappear out a window. On second thought, given his mother, this probably wasn’t far from the truth.  
“Who’s Hamish with?” Alex asked when they finally got out of the school. Just being out of that awful building made Alex feel lighter and happier.

“Sam Lestrade,” Ian admitted after a pause. “Which sucks because…” He trailed off, watching a car go down the road. 

“Because you’d rather he be dating you,” Alex finished with a nod. 

“Yeah, well, whatcha gonna do when they just know you as a slut who sleeps with anyone?” Ian muttered with a shrug, kicking a rock. “Besides, his dad doesn’t want me with him.”

Alex slung an arm around Ian’s shoulder, tugging him close. “I know how you feel, bud,” he drawled with a smirk.

“You should stick with that Irish mess you’ve got going on,” Ian chuckled, rolling his eyes. “You’re a fucking idiot, you know that, Moran? Disappear off the face of the Earth and come back looking like this? Wooing everyone and acting like you own the place.”

“Hey, I’m not trying,” Alex defended easily. “I guess girls just like classic rock.”

“Girls like rock hard abs,” Ian corrected. “It’s such a shame that you don’t like girls.”

Alex shrugged with a smile. “The attention is nice and if Hamish isn’t interested and you’re busy with everyone else, I don’t feel the need to reveal anything or stop any affection I get. I can be a flirt, you can be a slut. We’ll be the perfect team.”

Ian snorted and shook his head. “You’re such a fucking idiot.”

“You’ve said.”

“I thought it was worth mentioning again.”

Alex rolled his eyes and shoved Ian off the sidewalk, running off as the other tore after him. He hit the ground hard as the other tackled him down after only a short sprint. Ian was laughing like mad, matching Alex’s own joy, both happy to just be together again.

“I missed you, asshat,” Ian chuckled, flopping down on Alex’s chest right in the middle of the park they’d meandered to.

“I missed you too, shitface,” Alex chuckled back, running a hand through the other’s dark hair lightly. He let his head hit the ground, staring at the sky. “Is there a lot of shit for queer kids here?” he asked as his eyes drifted shut. 

Ian shrugged, tracing the seam on Alex’s shirt. “I mean, there’s still asshats but it’s not like in movies or anything like that. Like, no one’s being beaten to death. We’ve all mostly banded up, honestly. It’s a big school, your bit is. The intelligent people. And then there’s the art school that sisters up, which is where I am. A few queer characters there too.”

Alex chuckled but his face was still drawn in seriousness. “How many are in said group?”

“Uh, me, Hamish, Sammy, you I’m assuming. That’s really all that matter,” Ian said after a brief pause.

“Oh, four, great,” Alex grumbled. In Germany, he’d had a substantial group of queer friends. Ireland was a little smaller but they weren’t all dating or pinning after each other so it wasn’t awkward. This would be awkward.

“Hey, man, lighten up. It’s better than having your face smashed in every day, right?” Ian asked, hitting his shoulder lightly.

Alex shrugged and stared at the sky. “When do I get to see him?” he asked after a breath.

“I’d guess during your arts class. All you braniacs have the same arts class. Well, most of you. And I know you’re taking the advanced calc course and he is too so you have to be in the same class because they conflict.”

Alex nodded. He had art as a double block this year, making up for time lost while he was away. It was seventh and eighth periods and he’d thought it would be a huge waste of time, but that didn’t really hold true anymore. As if art wouldn’t be hard enough, now he had a distraction, something far more beautiful than whatever he’d managed to concoct.

“You’ll be fine, man,” Ian assured him, ruffling his hair and moving to straddle the other’s hips as he worked on getting up. Alex let his hands fall to Ian’s hips, tracing soft circles against the prominent bones there.

“What if we faked it?” the blond asked, studying the strip of skin that showed under Ian’s shirt. “Faked a relationship until they got their heads out of their arses and realized that they’re both with the wrong people?”

Ian looked down at him, comfortable with the warm touch on his hips. “I don’t know, Moran, seems pretty fucking stupid, honestly. If they’re happy, let them be happy.”

“Oh, come on, Adler, you know you want a piece of this almost as much as you want Lestrade,” Alex teased, wiggling his body on the ground.

“You’ll ruin my reputation. Ian Adler doesn’t settle down or domesticate with anyone for any reason.”

“You want your reputation ruined, dumbass. You want Sammy to settle down with you, to know you can do relationships and not just hit ‘em and quit ‘ems.” 

Ian mused this over and shrugged, running his hands down Alex’s chest contemplatively. “And what happens when it all comes to light that this was all just a sham to break them up?” he finally asked.

“Sham? What sham? It hurts to hear you call our relationship a sham, Adler. I love you. I’ve loved you since I left you.” Though Alex’s eyes were wide open and very clear, there wasn’t much warmth behind them and it made the whole thing sound like a sarcastic, poorly delivered line.

Ian rolled his eyes and pulled Alex up by his shirt front. “We’re going all in, Moran. No matter what.”

“All in, Adler,” Alex agreed with a smirk. And suddenly cool lips were on his, pressing and insistent. Alex could feel a scar he hadn’t noticed across Ian’s lips, could feel how thin and small they were. Most of all, he could feel the other match his smirk.

Hamish came around the corner, just wanting to get to a café and eat some muffins while he tried to riddle out the latest English assignment, when he saw a familiar shock of dark hair positively controlling a much larger blond. He was about to call out for Ian to knock it off and get back to class when he saw who the much larger blond was.

He’d heard rumors about a gorgeous blond coming back. No one in his classes knew who it was. Just said that the art girls were all over him, which was typical. If he was an arts student, Hamish didn’t give a flying fuck about him, honestly. However, this blond, this ghost, this…ethereal being wasn’t an arts student. He was just as gorgeous as the rumors said, all muscle and sharp lines and Ian was good to jump on that as soon as he could. They’d been best friends in school after all. This didn’t stop the pang of jealousy and betrayal that shattered inside Hamish’s heart, threatening to explode it from the inside but not quite making it.

Hamish had to give Alex credit. If he’d been talking to Ian, the blond probably knew that Hamish was with Samuel. Besides, they were older now. Barely post-pubescent crushes wouldn’t have lasted this long, this distance. That was the very reason Hamish gave for not waiting, for moving on. 

He’d assumed Alex would do the same thing off in whatever gorgeous country he was in. The brunet just didn’t think he’d have to see it firsthand. With a shaking stomach and quivering heart, the curly haired boy turned and fled the scene as quietly as possible, clutching his book to his chest and not stopping as one of his annotation notes fell out.

Alex continued the kiss until he couldn’t breathe, one hand fisting in Ian’s hair to keep him close. There was nothing soft and gentle about this kiss, like it had been with Mali in India. Nothing completing and safe like Cecil in Germany. Nothing questioning and slow or open and welcoming like in Ireland. It was pure need and intimacy and knowledge of the other person. He only pulled away when a piece of paper wrapped around his wrist, the one that was currently holding Ian’s jaw as tightly as possible.

They were both panting and pressing their foreheads together, trying to remember what life was like outside of that burst of adrenaline. Finally, Alex grabbed the piece of paper, looking at it and frowning. “It’s notes for Beowulf,” he muttered, smoothing it out.

Ian looked out and quirked an eyebrow quite high. “They’re Hamish’s,” he said slowly. “He let me borrow them but I’d know that handwriting anywhere. He must have…”

“Been here,” Alex finished, mouth and throat going dry. “Oh, God, I’ve fucked it up.”

Ian smacked the back of his hand over Alex’s chest. “This was your plan, Moron,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. “Just you wait. You’ll have your prince charming soon enough.”

Alex glanced back to the school, a frown crossing his face. “You better be right, Adler, or I’ll beat your stupid horny face in.”


	7. Decisions and Tribulations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little bit of a vaguely NSFW part in this chapter about halfway through that may also be a bit non-con-y but I assure you it was consensual and Alex enjoys a bit of roughness in his vague, yet menacing sex life.

“How could he do this to me?!” Hamish moaned, laying in Sam’s lap. The redhead pet his boyfriend’s hair with a small smile. He’d always known he was just a stand in for the elusive Alex. When he’d first met Hamish, that seemed to be the only thing to come from the brunet’s mouth. Alex this, Alex that, Alex loved that, Alex hated that, Alex always said that, Alex would like that. Getting into their relationship, it had eased off slightly. Still, Sam felt like he was always a stand in, like Hamish was imagining another face above him, different arms around him.

“In all fairness, you do have a boyfriend,” Sam reminded with a nudge and smile. He reached over and grabbed a grape from the bowl of fruit by his bed before throwing it in the air and catching it in his mouth. “Ian probably told him right off the bat. If you came back and Alex had a boyfriend, I’d tell you.”

“Yeah, but to go snogging Adler as soon as possible? And for Ian to let him?” Hamish huffed and ran a hand through his hair, negating all of Sam’s works.

“I mean, they’re probably all the other has had for a while now. They’re best friends, they’re teenage boys, they’re both hot, it’s only logical that they be attracted to each other. Besides, Alex is newly home, they’re seeing each other face to face for the first time in years, they’re both wanting to have some kind of intimacy. Any at all.”

Hamish shook his head, rolling over on top of Sam. “Don’t act like this isn’t effecting you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mishy,” Sam cooed, leaning up to brush their noses together.

“You’re desperately in love with Ian. At least, you want to do something about the fact that he’s in love with you.”

“I’m not in love with him. I just don’t think that’s it was fair that we were rubbing our relationship in his face while we knew what he was feeling for me,” Sam reasoned with a shrug, trying to catch Hamish’s lips on his.

“So you do admit that you know about his feelings for you,” Hamish pressed, pulling away from the soft kiss.

Sam groaned and let his head fall back. “Please kiss me like it’s our last night together because I’m pretty sure this conversation is going to end with us breaking up and unlike you, I’ve quite gotten used to you being a constant in my life and I’d like to treasure that just a bit more before you just drop me like I’m nothing.”

At that, Hamish had the decency to blush. He sat up and Sam followed. “Sammy, it’s not like that. I just…I’ve been in love with him for so long and I thought he was gone and I was trying to move on.”

“I know. I know. And you wanted your first everything to be with him. I know that, Misha. And I dealt with that because I love you,” Sam said softly, trialing a hand down Hamish’s face. “All I’m asking is that you pretend to love me too, for just a few more minutes.”

“Sam, you know we love each other the exact same way. You can blame me for not having sex this entire relationship but your dick’s been flaccid since we started dating,” Hamish shot back.

“Hey, that was fucking low!” Sam objected, face falling into a look of outright shock.

“But it’s true! We love each other as friends, as brothers, as two people who clung together when they had nothing else. We’re not lovers. Not together.”

Sam remained silent for a few moments before sighing and nodding. “Okay, I guess you’re right. But that doesn’t solve your issue of Alex being with Ian.”

“No, but you do,” Hamish hummed, reaching over to the endtable to grab Sam’s phone. He quickly put in the passcode and ignored as he semi-boyfriend kissed at his neck while he worked. He easily located Ian’s number.

Hey, did I see you snogging the new guy in the park today? –SL

“Fuck, Ian,” Alex grunted as his friend slammed him against his own bedroom wall and attacked the blond’s neck with his teeth and mouth.

“If you’re gonna play the part, you gotta look the part, baby,” Ian chuckled. “I’ll make it worth it.” He trailed the hand that wasn’t currently pressing Alex’s shoulder to the wall down his stomach—shirt long discarded—and to his waistband, popping the button with his thumb. “Everyone knows what a night with me makes someone look like and you are not it.”

Alex shivered and let Ian press him to his desk, school books and personal reading books falling to the ground. Alex’s stereo was turned on to the Artic Monkeys and the volume was up so neither heard Sebastian’s heavy boot falls on the stairs. 

“Alexander James, what the hell is all this noise?!” he growled, shouldering open his son’s door and freezing. He slowly took in the two mostly undressed boys and the mussed bed and the love bruises spreading over both of their necks before paling considerably and turning around and shutting the door without another word.

“Fucking shit, Adler!” Alex shouted, going over to turn off the stereo and grab his shirt. He ran after his dad, shouts of ‘It wasn’t what you think!’ and ‘You know I’m being safe anyway!’ and ‘You fucking hypocrite, you told me you shagged people like a fucking rabbit in high school’ were heard down the hall for a bit.

Ian chuckled and went through Alex’s books and CDs before his phone chirped. He threw himself dramatically over his friend’s black sheets—Don’t you know how well spunk shows up on black, Moran? Fucking idiot—and pulled his phone to his chest, flipping through notifications before he came to the text, at which, he visibly blanched himself.

it’s not like that. –IA

Oh? I suppose he’s just another afternoon shag, then? –SL

yes, well, no. god can you keep a secret? fuck this is going to break your heart and i’m sorry. –IA

Just fucking tell me, Adler. –SL

okay, so alex is madly in love with your boyfriend but i mean he’s your boyfriend so he’s not avab. right? so alex is making me pretend like we’re dating so hamish gets jealous and breaks up with you. –IA 

Oh. That’s…Oh. –SL  
Thank you for telling me. –SL  
That took courage. –SL

i’m sorry. i just…i’ve never been able to say no to him before he’s perfected this fucking look and you just do anything for him. –IA

I just…I think I’m breaking up with him now, actually. He hasn’t really shut up about Alex even since we were dating. –SL

what? really? you’re breaking up with him? just because of speculation? from me? –IA 

Nah. Just an entire botched relationship I guess. We haven’t even had sex. –SL

dude seriously? man i knew he was a prude but…come on. –IA

Hey! We broke up. That doesn’t mean I won’t defend him with my life, asshole. –SL

you did it? –IA

Well, not yet. But, still. Um…would you mind if we ate lunch at the park tomorrow? I think I’m going to be down a boyfriend and you will be too. –SL 

what? really? you’re serious? –IA

Why not? We’ve been friends forever. We might as well stick it to our dick exes, right? –SL

holy shit balls. okay. yeah. lunch sounds good. –IA

Great, see you then. –SL

sure thing. –IA

“Sammy, you’ve got a date with Ian Adler tomorrow. You should probably stop sucking on my neck now,” Hamish hummed, shoving his friend off of him. “And you should officially break up with me because I think about Alex too much.”

“I what?!” Sam cried, pulling away and looking at Hamish with wide eyes. 

“Oh, relax. It’s just lunch in the park,” Hamish brushed off, rolling his eyes. “It’ll be fun. Now, break up with me.”

Sam stared at Hamish for a while, ran his fingers through the familiar curly hair and smiled. “Hamish William Trevor Holmes, I know this may be a bit hard to take, but I’m breaking up with you. You care so much about Alex that I feel like I’m just a poor stand in for him. Now he’s back and I understand that I should bow out in front of a more powerful alpha.” Hamish snorted and shook his head. “I vow to always be your friend and murder you in your sleep if I’m not the best man at your wedding to him.”

Hamish laughed and nodded. “Deal. Want to go play a video game?”

“Sounds perfect,” Sam laughed, standing up and pulling Hamish with him. He leaned in to kiss him gently and made a face before shaking his head. “Nope. Not there anymore.”

“Agreed. Thank you for doing this.”

“No problem, dude. Now I’m gonna go kick your ass for all the heart ache you put me through,” he laughed, running down the stairs to the living room.


	8. Past and Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The third relationship (The one in Ireland) is probably abusive so if that's a trigger, ignore it

_Alex fell in love for the first time in India. His name was Mali, his favorite color was blue, and he practiced Hinduism. Alex had been walking to some store, listening to music and Mali had grabbed his arm._

_"Got any smokes?" he'd asked in a voice like melted sugar, thick and just this side of rough._

_"The fuck are you talking about kid?" Alex asked in a growl, trying to shove this gorgeous boy off of him. He still wasn't over Hamish.  He just wasn’t. And this guy was getting too close for comfort._

_"Really. I think you should give me a smoke," this boy insisted, placing an arm between their faces and the busy road beside them._

_Alex understood a few seconds later when a group of men went storming by that Alex distinctly recognized as part of a group that was probably trying to kill his parents and by default him._

_When they made love, that's all they did, Alex undressed himself and then would slowly remove Mali's clothes as well. He'd kiss as much of the dark skin of the boy’s stomach that he could reach and he'd go on and on about how he believed that the soul was housed by the stomach, at least in that region._

_Mali was obsessed with Alex's blond hair, constantly pulling on it and running his fingers through it. He never left a bruise and he never did anything rougher than the occasional scrape of teeth across Alex's neck._

_Alex was the lover and Mali the loved, which made sense. Alex adored Mali but got the feeling that the emotion wasn't reciprocated. Mali was more experienced and didn't cry when Alex left eight months into their affair._

_In Germany, Alex found his first and only real relationship. His name was Cecil and they had the same schedule at school._

_Alex had come stumbling into his first class late and drenched to the bone. His usually spiky hair was hanging in his face and an hour of styling it this morning had gone out the window. He blinked like a lost child at the front of the classroom when he realized that he was in fact late._

_The teacher had stared at him before her face melted into something kind, like she had control over the situation.  "You must be Alex," she said in English. Alex nodded._

_"Class this is Alexander," she said to the students. Most of them looked bored. Some were interested in the new student and a few hadn't even noticed the commotion._

_Cecil was the only one looking at him with anything like life. He had bright blue eyes, so brilliant it almost hurt to look at them. Alex was gone the moment his own met Cecil’s._

_Cecil had white blond hair that he kept coifed in the front and a laugh that was like Heaven had fallen into his soul. His fingers were soft and gentle and constantly moving over Alex’s skin. His arm, his elbow, his thigh, his cheek, his neck. Cecil was always touching him._

_They’d fall into bed for hours, just touching and kissing and talking and laughing. It took two weeks before they stopped having nights that they weren’t together. They’d wake up in a tangle of limbs and grins and sleepy promises._

_Alex cried for days when they left Germany. He stayed curled up in bed and sobbed into a pillow. They promised to stay in contact but it wasn’t enough for Alex. He wanted their shared nights and he wanted the other body in bed with him._

_It took a year before Alex thought he could maybe look at another guy. Ireland was where they’d ended up and Alex hated it. He wanted to go back to Germany. He wanted to go back to Cecil. He didn’t want this. He hated the rain. He hated that no one grinned at him when he walked in to class late. He hated the green. He hated that people asked if he was his father’s son._

_“Moran like Augustus’ son?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“What happened to him?”_

_“Died in the fucking desert.”_

_“Oh. I’m so sorry.”_

_“Stop talking.”_

_It wasn’t until someone slammed him against a row of locker and growled “Bullshit.” that anything interesting happened. Alex met dark eyes, that were disgustingly deep. Eyes hard as stone. “You are so full of fucking bullshit, you piece of shit pissbaby.”_

_“What the fuck did I ever do to you?” Alex demanded, shoving the other away from him hard enough to send him into the other wall._

_“You are so fucking irritating with your self assigned grief that you don’t fucking deserve,” the guy barked, coming back to Alex and fisting both hands in the front of his shirt._

_“Says fucking who?” Alex demanded, wrapping his fingers around the guy’s wrists but not yanking them away from him._

_“I know what you fucking think you’re feeling. ‘poor me, poor that’. You didn’t lose a fucking parent. I would know. My dad got blown sky high and I was put in foster care. You’re not like me.”_

_“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were the fucking policer of emotions, you piece of shit.”_

_And then there were hot, wet, insistent lips on his. A body pressed his closer to the lockers and that was Gavin._

_Gavin and Alex ended up hurting each other more than they helped each other. They were rough and constantly left proof of their night before in the form of angry bruises and bites and scratches. At first, the scratches down his back bothered Alex when he had to sit in hard plastic seats at school, but the more he thought about the pain, the less he thought about Cecil. Gavin was the perfect distraction, the right way to get rid of the pain that wouldn’t leave otherwise._

_Alex didn’t tell Gavin when he left. Gavin never asked._

_Then there was Hamish._

 

Ian was a traitor. That’s all there was to it. Alex sulked in his seat in his first period class as his teacher blabbed on and on about Frankenstein. This wasn’t fair. Ian was sucking face with his gorgeous new…boyfriend? Did those things happen so quickly? Either way, Alex was down a fake boyfriend and a real boyfriend so everything sucked.

 

He really did try to concentrate on Frankenstein but he just couldn’t care less. He eventually reached under his desk for his math book and pulled it up, opening to the page he’d been working on the night before. He scribbled out random equations and worked through the word problems, not even looking up when the door opened or he heard someone take the seat next to him. It was the only free one in the room. No arguing that.

 

He scowled as his pen suddenly flew from his fingers because, why not make this day worse? It was probably in the third realm at this point. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples and when he opened his eyes again, there was a pencil under his face. He picked it up and looking next to him.

 

“Hi, I’m Hamish and I brought you a pencil,” he said with a smirk. Alex grinned.

 

“I’m Alex,” he answered.

 

“What’re you doing?” Hamish asked. Alex relaxed and shrugged.

 

“Maths,” he answered. “My father likes maths so he’s been teaching me.”

 

“You know, I think I knew this kid who said the same thing when we were, like, four,” Hamish mused with a grin.

 

“Oh, yeah? Sounds like a cool cat,” Alex answered, turning to face him more fully.

 

“Only when he doesn’t use vernacular like that,” Hamish laughed, shaking his head. Alex slid out of his seat to quickly hug Hamish. He kneeled down so he wouldn’t be so conspicuous.

 

“Missed you, dude,” he muttered into the brunet’s shoulder.

 

Hamish wound his fingers in Alex’s hair and nodded. “Missed you too,” he breathed, squeezing his friend tightly. “More than I can possibly say.”

 

“Mr. Moran, get back in your seat,” the teacher sighed. “Whatever strange welcome home you’re getting a day late can wait for this period to end.”

 

Alex made a face but moved back to his seat nonetheless. “You weren’t in here yesterday,” he accused quietly.

 

“Yeah, I was switched around yesterday ‘cause it turns out my sixth hour is too crowded and I was one of the poor souls who got switched out.” He shrugged and smiled. “Which means all new reading for me, but that’s okay.”

 

“Yeah, you were reading Beowulf right?” Alex asked.

 

Hamish made a face at him. “Yeah? How did you know that?”

 

The blond floundered a bit. “Oh, Ian’s in that class,” he said quickly. Hamish smirked and raised an eyebrow.

 

“Going based on the bruises that are littering your neck, I would say you know more than that about him,” he mused.

 

Alex’s hand flew to his neck and he blushed. “No! It’s not like that,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “It was…no. He’s with…it’s just a big misunderstanding.” Damn, he was more eloquent with his father who had walked in on him in the act.

 

“No, no, I understand. Why wait for some guy you knew in secondary school?” Hamish sighed, looking away.

 

Alex let out a frustrated noise and leaned across the aisle to press a small kiss to the corner of Hamish’s lips.

 

“I’m sorry. Do you want to go out to get something to eat at lunch?” he asked.

 

Hamish blushed and nodded with a small smile. “I’d like nothing more than that,” he breathed.

 

Well, Alex was definitely not going to think about Frankenstein at this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, I'm on [tumblr](http://vague--ambition.tumblr.com/) so if you need to yell at me, this is it.


	9. Avocados and Dates (Only one refers to a fruit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I'm so sorry about this break. I'm an awful human being

The café was small and crowded. It seemed like most of the school came here for lunch but Hamish made his way to the back expertly and settled down into a small two seater in the corner. Alex had no idea how it wasn’t already taken but he imagined it had something to do with the way Hamish seemed to reach for his bag and start to plug in his laptop charger off muscle memory alone.

When the brunet realized what he was doing, he blushed and shook his head. “Sorry. I’m used to having my laptop out.”

Alex smiled and played with a deg in the table. “I understand. In Germany, I stayed after school with my friends a lot and we’d just hang out and shit and there was one day where we had tests or something and we decided not to that morning but afternoon rolled around and I went to the room and waited for a good fifteen minutes.”

Hamish smiled back and nodded. “It sounds like you had a good support system in Germany then.”

“Yeah, Germany felt like home. I miss it every single day.” He missed it more than he had missed London even. The longer he was without Gavin, the more he thought about Cecil. Even Hamish couldn’t continuously keep out the other boy’s image.

“Are you going to go back when you can?” Hamish ventured, playing with a sugar packet.

Alex glanced at him and then glanced down. “Uh…I don’t know. I was planning on it. Especially in Ireland. God, every single moment I was trying to figure out how to get back. And I’ve fallen in love with a university there.” The last time he and Cecil had talked, it had been where Cecil was looking at going. Hamish had his own future, though, and Alex didn’t want to lose him again.

“What’re you looking at doing for uni?”

“Astronomy,” Alex answered, because this was safe territory again.

“Oh? Following in Jim’s footsteps.”

“Ha. Yeah. I guess. I just fell in love with the stars. I want to be an astronaut but, honestly, when was the last time you heard about an English astronaut, right?” He gave a weak chuckle and shrugged.

“Will you tell me about him?” Hamish asked suddenly.

Alex started and looked up at him. “What do you mean?” he asked dumbly.

“The boy you left behind in Germany. You obviously did. I’m not my father but I can tell a heartbroken man when I see one.” And, fuck, did it hurt to know that Alex hadn’t waited for him. To know that Hamish probably loved Alex more than Alex loved him. Could love him at this point.

“Fuck, Hamash,” Alex sighed and Hamish melted at the name. “This is just…fuck. Alright. His name was Cecil. We were sixteen, just turned. We were together the entire time I lived in Germany…” He felt his throat close up at the memories and gave himself a few seconds. “He was everything to me. He made me laugh, he charmed the hell out of Sebastian, he impressed Jim, he was so smart and handsome and beautiful that I couldn’t believe he existed.” He wondered how sappy he should get. “He…completed me. Not in the way you do, where you lean against my side and match. But he sank into me and filled in all the holes and gaps.”

“He was your first?” Hamish asked to starve off the pain that was erupting in his chest.

Alex blushed. “No. Mali was my first. In India. We were fifteen. It wasn’t serious. Just…young infatuation.”

“Then Cecil was the last?”

“God,” Alex groaned, shaking his head. “I sound like such a whore. But no. There was Gavin in Ireland. But he definitely didn’t matter. That was just…we were both in really bad places and we didn’t even try to help each other out. We just beat each other further into it. We were…bad. I want to hate those months but I can’t because it…like…you know how sometimes making something hurt more makes it more tolerable? He made things hurt so other things didn’t.”

“You’re not a whore. It was years and years. Almost half a decade,” Hamish defended even though he really didn’t want to.

Alex shook his head. “I just…was in so much pain. Mali and me were just…hormones and experimentations. Cecil was…” Cecil was everything but how was he supposed to say that to the man who was supposed to be everything to him now? The silence would speak for itself. “And Gavin was just because I was in so much pain. It was London and losing you all over again.”

“You think you felt the same way about Cecil as you did about me?” Hamish asked, ever astute.

Alex hesitated and worried his lower lip before nodding. “I think I would have loved you…can love you this way now that we’re back together.”

“Are you going to go to Germany for uni?” Hamish asked. Holy Hell, was that the loaded question of the century.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. The silence hung heavy and awkward and Alex scrambled for something to say but couldn’t find anything before a waitress came up and asked for orders.

Hamish got some fancy sounding salad and a water and Alex got a turkey and avocado sandwich but not the words he needed for when the waitress left again.

“What about you?” he finally settled on, weak and dumb.

“Oh. Uh, well, no one was really interested in dating me. People thought maybe Ian was. Then Sam. Then I actually started dating Sam and that’s just been…”

“A coverup?” Alex suggested after a few swollen seconds.

“Not quite. Just…you know…a transient phase. He knew…last night when we were talking, he let me know he knew we weren’t forever.”

“That as soon as I came back, you’d be with me?” Hamish nodded and Alex sighed. “We were fourteen. Why did you let me keep you back?”

“That’s amazingly arrogant, even for you. I didn’t let you keep me back. I just…God, Alex, I’m not like you, alright? I can’t just pick up somewhere wherever I go and fall in love. I don’t look at people like that and it’s got nothing to do with my father like everyone keeps saying. I just don’t fucking care to look at people like that and that’s okay. But you…God, it’s always been you. I mean, even when we were kids, I fucking loved you so unadulteratedly. You’re everything to me and I desperately want to be everything for you.”

Alex smiled and nodded, looking up at Hamish through his lashes. “If you give me time, I’ll match your passion stroke for stroke,” he promised with a grin. “Just give me time to catch up to you.”

Hamish grinned and nodded. “I think I can manage that, Mr. Moran,” he answered, reaching over to grab Alex’s hand and bring his knuckles to his lips.

“You fight, don’t you?” he asked, looking at the scars and Alex took in the first breath of the rest of his life with Hamish, falling into a long winded spiel that would only be the first of its kind with his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also super sorry that this is where this is going to be ending. I'm super uninspired by it and I don't really have a clear thought on where it's going to go and it's not fair to keep readings waiting for a chapter that's never going to come. I may do another series based off this when they start making decisions about college but I don't know. It would involve bringing Cecil in and I know there's this stigma about OC characters but I love him and I may just write it as a novella separate of fanfic. I don't know. But, yes, this will be the end of this fic specifically.


End file.
